Communication and leadership effectiveness

Excellent article.

colinsander

It seems that one of the most common comments from people when asked about leadership is that their managers do not communicate enough.

Of course this is a statement that can hide a multitude of sins,  so when I drill down into the detail of what they mean,  what comes out is a lack of clear direction,  being too busy,  not giving feedback …

A recent survey in the US conducted by Interact/Harris reinforces these points. 

The top complaints people had about their leaders,  which of course impacts on engagement and trust,  were:

  • not recognising their people’s achievements
  • not giving clear directions
  • not having time to meet with their people

Too often people get a sense that their manager considers his or her day to day tasks as being more important than themselves.

This creates insecurity,  uncertainty,  and in the extreme, 

View original post 128 more words

Advertisements

Four years and counting

Well, I have been blogging and coaching for four years. It has been a wonderful four years. I have shared my life with you, my readers and friends. You have allowed me into your lives. I have learned from you. I hope you have learned from me.

I have enjoyed our journey together. I don’t blog as often due to work and life, but I still stay active. I appreciate that you have allowed me into life and look forward to sharing more in the future.

Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Loneliness

I am in the process of moving further away from my children and to a new town. It is a daunting task, especially during the holidays. It is a great opportunity, and opens new doors, but not something I had planned on doing a year ago.

During a break from the packing and unpacking, I was talking to a friend. My friend asked me if I would be lonely. It caught me by surprise as I hadn’t thought about it in that respect.

Holidays have been hard on me since my divorce and the death of my parents; and now I was moving further away from my kids. Back to the question at hand, would I be lonely?

Short answer, no.

I haven’t been lonely since my divorce. I have learned to be happy alone and by myself. Everyone has said or heard at some in their life that “nothing is so lonely as being surrounded by people and feeling alone”. That is a very true statement. Waiting on someone you care about to return your attention also can bring on loneliness.

When you can be happy in silence, sitting alone in the dark, loneliness is not something you have to be concerned about. Learn to accept yourself, be thankful for what you have and you will feel fulfilled.

How are you going through life?

Every day we all go through this thing called life.  We go to work, take care of our kids and those we love. Hopefully having some fun as we travel this journey.

There is more to life than this…….but are you living it?

You can have more, have it all…….if you make the right choices. Yes, it comes back to the choices YOU make. You can choose to have it all or to float through life. Your actions, how you spend your time, determine the pace, the quality and the outcome of your journey.

You can go through life wasting your time on things that will never matter, but is fun for the moment. Alcohol, drugs, addictions in general and lies are a great waste of your time, your journey. While you may have fun in the short term, they prevent your journey from being successful. You will drive wedges between your real friends and family. Your career will suffer. You will become lost on your journey. Some people never realize what they have lost as they waste their life and talents. Others realize it too late.

I had a loved one that had a medical condition that took away his ability to communicate as he was dying. You could see in his eyes that he had so much he wanted to say,  but he couldn’t talk, write or sign. Instead of saying – and doing – what needed to be done while he could, he spent his time doing things that while important at the time, wasn’t what needed to be done. He went to his grave with so much left unsaid.

I had another loved one that keep secrets here whole life and finally opened up to our family on her deathbed. Revealing the truth at the end of her life caused her family great emotional pain. Now instead of fond memories growing up, I am faced with questions, had to deal with the anger of the revelation. Our family will never be same.

Both examples are of people who was busy with life, but wasn’t busy living. They both missed opportunities to tell their loved ones how they felt, what was going on. Their loved ones will always wonder why and what they really wanted to say.

I have had to search my life and deal with things that wasn’t easy to deal with. I lost my dad, mom and got divorced in less than a year. I have made my share of mistakes, will make more, but though my experiences I realize the most important thing in life is relationships. My relationship with God, my kids, my family and those that I call my friends. I will endeavor to make sure that they know now and always how I feel about them. I will give them my best, be there for them. I will help them build the future that they want so they can have a better journey.

So, how are you going through your life? Are you doing your best and helping others, living without regrets or are you busy with things that won’t matter in 5 years?

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment.

Are you as free as you think?

Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from.

Vernon Howard

We go through life striving to be free. Free to do what we want. Free to be who we want. We say it is our right, that it is our lives, it doesn’t affect others.

While freedom sounds great, how free are you?

I think of myself as having great freedom. But looking at the quote above and evaluating my life, I realize that I am not as free as I would like. I love my cigars. Right now, I don’t know if I just enjoy my cigars or if I NEED my cigars. If I need my cigars, then I am not as free as I thought. In fact, if I need my cigars then I am bound to them.

If you think about your life, is there something that you can’t walk away from, something that controls you? Maybe alcohol, tobacco (like me), drugs? Or is the need for attention, Facebook, the internet? Is it your need to be successful? Whatever it is that you can’t walk away from, controls you. And if something controls you, you aren’t free. You won’t be free until you break those chains.

Is this your freedom?
Is this your freedom?

Let me know what you think.

Your Discomfort Zone

Most people struggle to reach their goals, their dreams and vision for their life. They don’t understand the process and they don’t keep their agreements to themselves. You may be asking “why”? The answer is simple. They don’t want to be uncomfortable.

I have worked with clients that while we were talking about what they had to do to reach their goal would actually say “I don’t want to do that, it will make me uncomfortable”.

You have to get out of your comfort zone to achieve anything in life.

Discomfort is one of the values of commitments, one of the very reasons for making a commitment in the first place. We have a goal-fulfillment mechanism built in us. When you commit to something, you are telling that mechanism “I want this”. The mechanism says “Cool, I’ll arrange that.” And it does.

Your goal-fulfillment mechanism can:

  • See what lessons you need to learn to achieve your goal and arranges those lessons. These lessons can easy – you notice an article in a magazine, have a conversation with a friend that reveals something you had seen about yourself, or even a song. Other times, the lessons aren’t pleasant at all – a boss has to reprimand you, you get sick and the doctor has to tell you to change your lifestyle or you will die or the you lose someone special before you made things right.
  • See what stands in your way of your goals and removes it. Again, it can be pleasant – you want a new vehicle and someone makes you a really good deal on your current vehicle, or unpleasant – someone steals your current vehicle.

As I stated earlier, you have to expand your comfort zone to include your goals. The bigger the goal, the more you must expand your comfort zone. You expand your comfort zone by doing uncomfortable things until they become comfortable.

People use discomfort to stay in their comfort zone and they don’t reach their goals. To reach your goals and to grow, you must learn to deal positively with discomfort.

This process of growth is known as “grist for the mill”. Think about how flour used to be made in an old stone mill. The workers would add gravel (grist) to the wheat before grinding it. The grist rub against the wheat as the mill wheel passes over. This friction causes the wheat to be ground into the fine powder, which is the flour. If it wasn’t for the grist, the wheat would only be crushed.

Are you adding grist to the mill?

My experiences (and yours) can help others

Foundations - Life Coaching

Many of you know that I have been trying to memorize chapters
4-10 in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy. It has been an amazing experience.
At times, it has been like trying to drink from a firehose. The depth of wisdom in this section of the Bible has been huge.
Anyway, as I was meditating on a verse this morning, I read the following about God, “…and (He) loves the foreigner residing among you giving them food and clothing. And you are
to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt” (Deut. 10:18b-19- NASB).
One thing that jumped out to me was the idea of the Golden Rule, “treat people the same way you would want them to treat you”.
God is saying to the Israelites, (my paraphrase)—remember when you were in the land of Egypt, you were foreigners, you know what it felt like…

View original post 322 more words