This week I was sitting on the phone trying to deal with an issue, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there — waiting — not living my life. And then it hit me, I was “on hold” with my life. That is not where I wanted to be.
Are you “on hold” in your life?
Are you waiting on a promotion, a spouse, someone to act better towards you? Are you waiting to get motivated to do something?
Stop waiting, being “on hold”, and do something. The only difference between you and people getting what they want is that they do something, they pushed through it while you didn’t. Here are some thoughts to get you unstuck.
Focus on the who, not the what.
If you have been stuck for a while, instead of stating “what I want” try to state it as “who I am” terms. An example of this could be “I want to lose 50 lbs” versus “I am someone who exercises and take care of myself and my weight is XXX (what it would be if you lost 50 lbs) which is healthy for my age and height”. Be very specific. Focus on who you want to be.
Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true! Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient and more satisfying. Remember, if one area of your life is out of whack, it will affect the other areas. So, start changing that 20% to better your whole life.
A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to the “real estate” (space) of your home or office. This is especially true with your time. Once you have spent your time, you can never get it back. So I always recommend to clients to be very sure that how they spend is really important to their life, to achieving their goals. Always ask yourself – is this valuable enough to me to crowd my life with, or even to bump something else from my closet, my schedule, my money?
Routines are important as you try to change your life. I bet you have “pizza night”– so why not “bills night” or “clean your room night” as well? Like the pizza night, routines show up in all kinds of ways in your life. Some routines are good, while others are not so good. Take a minute and look at your routines. Are there some you would to change? Or even get rid of? Now lets look at the good routines and see if you make routines for other things in your life. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. The same way you don’t have to think about dinner on pizza night, instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if you remembered to pay the car insurance, you’ll feel calm knowing that you always go to the bank on Friday afternoon and pay bills on Tuesday. evening. Routines take the stress out. Wouldn’t less stress be nice?
This is a concept I recently ran across on the web. I have said that we need to accept what we can control and let of the rest. If we can’t change it or control it, don’t spend time dealing with it. I’d like to introduce the concept of ‘controllability’ in your daily life. You can’t control world politics, but you can vote. You can’t control what others think about you, but you can treat everyone fairly and with respect. You can’t control the construction crews on the highway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that control, and letting go of what you can’t, puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.
Once you start creating the life you want and not being “on hold” with your life, you will naturally start feeling better about yourself. You will see a decrease in your stress, in your frustrations. You will feel freer after you start making choices instead of being pushed around. Self improvement will start to become easier and easier.
Get off of being “on hold” and start acting today. Make your life what you want it to be!