Scars


For a while now, I have thinking of scars.  Scars are left from both physical and emotional hurts.  When we are hurt, physically and emotionally, we are left with scars.  What and how we deal with them is the measure of a person.  For the remainder of this post, I will discuss emotional scars.

A scar is left only after we heal.  As long as the hurt is still there, the scar won’t form.  We have to leave the hurt alone, so that the scab can form and eventually give way to the scar.  If we continue to pick the wound, the scar will not form.  If we emotionally let the hurt continue, the scar won’t form.  We stay emotionally wounded.

Only by accepting the wound (hurt, grief, etc.), dealing with wound (asking forgiveness, being accountable for our action, etc.) and finally letting go so the scar can form can we be healed.

Everyone has scars that make us unique.  Our scars are special; they make us who we are.  Some people try to hide their scars; others never let the scars form.  To fully heal, we have to accept the wounds and allow our scars to heal.  Scars should be displayed with pride.  They show that we have healed from our wounds.  Scars are a beautiful process.

If we are without scars, we have never taken chances or have never allowed the wounds to heal.  Neither is a healthy way to live the one life we are given.

As a way of opening the dialog on our scars, I will share a few scars in my life.  These scars have shaped me into the person that I am, not the person that the wounds represent.  It has taken me a long time to accept and embrace my scars, but as I continue to grow, I have to embrace the scars that make me the person that I am.  So, here are some of my many scars:

  • Depression
  • A failed marriage because of my mistakes
  • Pornography addiction
  • Dysfunctional family as a child

Each of the scars has formed only as I overcame each wound.  Each scar is representative not of the wound, but of allowing the wound to heal.  To hide the scars, is to not be true to the person I am now.  The scars are my testimony; not of my strength, but of the grace, forgiveness and love of God.  Without the scars, I would still the miserable person I was in the past.

So, I will leave you with this quote by Harry Crews “There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.”

Please comment and if you would like, discuss your scars with me.  I understand.

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6 thoughts on “Scars

  1. Donald:

    Excellent article on our emotional scars. The Standard of Trust community is passionate about kept-commitments or accountability to ourselves and others. This is how we earn Relationship Capital (RC).

    Being honest with oneself is foundational to accountability to ourselves and to others. Willingness to “forgive” ourselves and others is key to healing the wound.

    Principles of Honesty, Accountability, Responsibility, Respect, Support, Boundaries, and Trustworthiness are my guiding principles that ground me through the up and downs of a scarred life of dedicated to making a difference.

    Thanks you for inspiring me to comment on your thought-provoking article!

    Regards,
    -Rob

    1. Thanks, Rob. I agree that honesty to oneself is the foundation to accountability. Accountability and honesty have been key to my healing. Like you, I have dedicated myself to helping others to achieve their dreams since I have allowed my scars to form.

      You are welcome, the post was something that has been on my heart to do for a while.

      Have a great day,

      Donald

  2. This is a very interesting post. Wounds hurt and the scars that are left cerve as reminders of the growth that we have experienced and the wisdom wich we have gained from our exeriences. The wisdom we can share with others who may be struggling with the same issues.

    God uses the expereinces for the good. Romans 8:28 says, ” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ” There is a purpose for what you have endured. May God use you to miister to ohers.

  3. Gail,

    You are right that scares serves as a reminder of the growth we have experienced and the wisdom that comes from our experiences. But we can only get that by owning our scars; and by letting our hurts heal and become scars.

    I wanted to share some of my deepest scars as a way of opening the dialog for others to talk about their scars. The discussion doesn’t have to be here, it can be with their family, pastor, counselor, coach or friend. Honest discussion of our scars, and our hurts that need heal, is the only way to move forward in life.

    Thank you for your comments and I hope that uses me and my posts to help others,

    Donald

  4. You know what?… You are right. Scars are a beautiful process. Period. Without them we can never grow into our full potential. Embracing these scars is totally necessary to keep moving forward.
    Thanks for this post Donald!
    Teal

  5. Teal,

    Thanks for the comments. I appreciate your input and perspective. It is very true that we have to embrace ourselves – scars and all – to move forward.

    Thanks,

    Donald

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