Yesterday we talked about perspectives. Today I will outline an exercise for reviewing situations and trying to understand the different perspectives. In this exercise, you will view the perspective of yourself, the other person and you will look at the situation as a third person, someone who is objective.
- Identify the situation. Remember the situation you want to analyze. Try to imagine as much of the situation as you can. The clearer the imagery and memory, the better the exercise will be.
- Try to have three places to sit while doing this exercise. By physically moving you are breaking the link to the perspective you just had before moving to the next perspective. If you can’t have three locations to sit, just walk from on place to another between the perspectives. The positions will be for your perspective, the other persons perspective and the final location will be of an innocent bystanders perspective.
- Understand the person whose perspective you are trying to understand. What are they like? What do you know about them? Was their reaction different than normal? Try to understand and know the actual person.
- Explore the positions.
- In the first position, explore your perspective. Review your actions, how you felt, what you and the other person said. Again, the more specific you are the better it is for the exercise.
- Next, move to the second position to review the other persons perspective. Now replay the situation from their point of view. What is their understanding of the situation? How do they see you? How does your words make them feel? How does your actions make them feel?
- Now, move to the third position. Picture yourself above the situation, looking down on the action. Ask yourself these questions: How are they acting? Are they listening (active listening) to each other? Are they being fair to each other? Is their present behavior solving anything? Is one dominant while the other is submissive? If you could give them advice, what would you tell as an objective bystander.
- Analyze what you have learned. Write down what you have learned. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about the other person? How do you move forward from where you are?
If you have situations that you would like to review, but feel you need assistance to do this exercise, please contact me. I can help you with this exercise or any challenge you have in your life. You can check out my coaching packages here.